


Seriously, witches

by theaeblackthorn



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cute, F/F, Female Derek Hale, Female Stiles Stilinski, Fingerfucking, Genderfuck, Genderswap, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-26
Updated: 2013-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-03 15:49:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/699927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theaeblackthorn/pseuds/theaeblackthorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I can't believe you called her a bitch, dude!" Stiles is still slightly out of breath from the running. Away from the witches. </p><p>Derek growls slightly, eyes flashing red in the dark of the Camaro. "I said '<i>witch</i>', why doesn't anyone believe me?!"</p><p>"Dude, I heard 'bitch', she heard 'bitch'. <i>Then she started whispering words and her eyes glowed.</i>" Stiles keeps checking himself to make sure he's all there, he's not like, grown an extra nose, or lost an ear or, fucking hell. <i>Witches</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seriously, witches

**Author's Note:**

> idek, man. unbeta'd genderswap porn with the barest hints of plot. enjoy.

Witches.

No but really, _witches_.

" _Witches_ , Derek, they were fucking _witches_." Stiles can't believe they just run away from _witches_. Witches are a thing, and he's not just trying to say 'bitches' in a roundabout way (even though they were), these were honest to god witches.

Witches. And Derek offended one of them.

"I can't believe you called her a bitch, dude!" Stiles is still slightly out of breath from the running. Away from the witches. Witches.

Derek growls slightly, eyes flashing red in the dark of the Camaro. "I said _witch_ , why doesn't anyone believe me?!"

"Dude, I heard 'bitch', she heard 'bitch'. _Then she started whispering words and her eyes glowed._ " Stiles keeps checking himself to make sure he's all there, he's not like, grown an extra nose, or lost an ear or, fucking hell. _Witches_.

Derek doesn't take his eyes off the road, he's doing an easy twenty above the speed limit, but Stiles's not worried, he's got the reflexes of a werewolf.

"What the hell were they even doing here? Since when did Beacon Hills become a vacation spot for all the supernatural crazies?" Stiles turns back to check that no-one is following them. He can't see anyone and that seems weird enough on its own.

"I don't fucking know, and if anything it's your fault, you made me drive all the way out here in the middle of the night for a slushie! 'But the 7-eleven's ones are the best _Derek_ '" Derek parrots, in a horrible rendition of Stiles's voice.

"I do not sound like that!" Stiles says indignantly. "And they are the best! I swear, I just wanted a fucking slushie and we find a whole group of witches in the woods behind the 7-eleven."

Derek drops down to the speed limit as they approach the Stiles's neighbourhood. He pulls up around the corner from Stiles's house, still aware enough that he's an ex-murder suspect fucking the sheriff's underage son.

"Why did they let us go?" Stiles asks, because it's been on his mind since he realised that they actually _had_ got away.

Derek shrugs. "No idea, but I should probably stay with you tonight, just incase they come back."

Stiles nods, he likes it when Derek stays over and is in no way going to turn down a chance to have Derek in his bed. "You can't leave the car here though, it's too close. Dad'll see it on his drive home."

"I'll move it a few blocks over and come in through the window." It's standard operating procedure for them by now and it's worked so far.

"I'll leave it unlocked. Don't be too long, and don't park by--"

"Mrs. Webster, I know, she's a nosey old hag." Derek finishes, mimicking Stiles again.

"Hey, cut that out or you're totally sleeping on the floor."

Derek rolls his eyes and Stiles worries that he's started to rub off on Derek. It's probably a good thing. Probably.

Stiles leans over the gearbox to drop a kiss onto Derek's lips. "See you inside!"

*

When Stiles wakes up he's sprawled out spread eagle on his bed, with Derek wrapped tightly around him. That's pretty normal, Derek's a sleep cuddler, Stiles isn't. If he's anything Stiles is a sleep kicker and a sleep disturber. How Derek manages to cling like a limpet and sleep the night through Stiles doesn't know, especially not with his werewolf sense. (Stiles would like to use this as an example of his sexual-prowess, saying he's worn Derek out, but he's pretty sure it's not. He mostly thinks Derek sleeps really well here because it's the only place he feels safe, but he's still too much of a coward to say that to Derek.)

As he stretches he realises something's... wrong. There's a heavy weight on his chest and something suspiciously soft and fleshy pressed against his arm. And... where's his morning wood? He always fucking wakes up at least half-hard when Derek's in his bed.

Stiles sits bolt upright, clutching at his chest and the fucking _tits_ that are there. Holyshit.

"Stiles?" comes Derek's sleepy voice. "What're y'doing?" 

"I have tits!" Stiles yells. "Big tits!" They're way more than a handful and oh my god, they're boobs. He has boobs. There are--

Derek pushes himself into a sitting position and Stiles can't help but stare at him too.

"Holy shit, you do too!"

Derek's hair is still as short as it was, but his stubbles gone, his jawline is softer and there are the most perfect boobs Stiles has ever seen in his life sitting on Derek's chest. Hanging from Derek's chest. They _are_ Derek's chest. Oh god. The nipples are bigger than Derek's own abs and they're already hard in the cool morning air.

Stiles licks his lips and tears his gaze away from Derek's boobs. "Dude, my boobs are way bigger than yours!"

" _Stiles_ ," Derek growls. "Not now. We've got a problem."

"No shit, your boobs are perkier than mine." Stiles shimmies his shoulders and watches as his breasts jiggle slightly. "Hey, shake your shoulders a little. I want to be sure."

"No."

"C'mon Derek, this is important!" Stiles is cupping his breasts and pinching at his nipples. This feels kinda awesome. " _Derek_..."

Derek lets out a loud sigh and drops his head into his hands. "Fucking witches."

*

The first thing Stiles does when Derek gives him his phone back (he'd tried to take pictures of Derek's boobs to ask Scott whose were perkier and Derek had confiscated it) is to google ' _masturbation techniques for girls_ '.

"Dude, have you got a detachable shower head at your place?" Stiles needs to know this. For reasons.

Derek just frowns at him. "I thought you were looking up about _witches_." Derek is on Stiles's laptop, checking through the bestiary to see if there are any mentions of witches. Stiles says seeing as witches aren't beasts, so no, no there won't be. Derek had insisted on checking anyway.

"Uh, no? What gave you that idea?"

"Stiles, we need to fix this!" Derek almost growls.

"Well, duh. I like my cock very much. But, what if we find the witches and it gets fixed straight away, or, like, what if it wears off after a day? What if this is _my only chance to have sex as a girl_?!"

Derek's staring at Stiles, mouth slightly open and Stiles can see the hint of his tongue. Oh. It doesn't have to be masturbation, does it?

"You've slept with girls, right?" Stiles's mouth frequently acts without his permission.

"You're not going to drop this, are you?" Derek asks, eyeing Stiles carefully. Derek had pulled on a t-shirt, Stiles hadn't.

"Probably not, no. I have breasts, dude. You have breasts. This is kinda awesome."

Derek sighs. "Okay, if we fuck can we _then_ go and find the bitches that did this to us!"

"You totally said 'bitches'!"

" _Stiles_ , focus! Do we have a deal?"

"Um, yeah, duh?" Stiles looks over at Derek, suddenly awkward. "So, how do we do this?"

Derek rolls his eyes and sets the laptop carefully off of the bed, once done he leans over and kisses Stiles, bring a hand up to gently cup his face. Derek's lips are fuller than they normally are, and the absence of stubble scraping against his cheek is weird. It feels like cheating on Derek.

Stiles pulls back and bites his lip. Derek's looking at him with this concerned expression. "What's wrong?"

"I don't... it feels like cheating on you," Stiles confesses.

"Hm, but it's still me. Look, I bet the eyebrows aren't even that far off." Derek wiggles his eyebrows and he's right they're ridiculously thick for a girl and they still do all the silly expressions Derek's did. It makes Stiles smile.

"You're right, if we're stuck like this you're totally going to have to pluck them," Stiles teases, feeling his worry fade a little.

"Hey, I don't have to do shit. Girls shouldn't have to pluck their eyebrows if they don't want to."

Stiles snorts. "Derek Hale, champion of women's rights."

"Hey, they're not just women's rights, they're everyone's rights. Just like they don't have pluck their eyebrows if they don't want to, why should any guy who wants to pluck his eyebrows not, just because society says he shouldn't?"

Stiles holds up his hands in surrender. "Dude, you're preaching to the choir. Or well, you might be the choir. I've see how hairless your chest is. Don't think I don't know you wax it."

"You seriously don't want to see it when it's hairy." Derek pulls a face.

Stiles grins. "Oh, I might. You know, I can get behind a hairy chest. Besides, at least one of us should have one, and we both know it sure as hell isn't going to be me."

"That's terrible logic."

"I know. Now, are you going to fuck me or what?"

Derek leans over to kiss Stiles again, and it isn't as weird this time. He's expecting the ridiculously smooth skin against his face. Derek still kisses the same way, slow and gently, teasing Stiles's mouth open and slipping his tongue inside. His hands come up to cup Stiles's face and Stiles can't get over how much smaller and daintier they are than Derek's. It feels... new, it feels exciting.

It barely takes a push and Stiles is falling back onto the pillows, letting Derek lie down next to him and continue to kiss.

Stiles brings up his hands to tangle in Derek's short hair. There's just enough to grip onto, but Stiles kinda wishes there were more. One of Derek's hands is slipping down Stiles's body skimming briefly over his sides and tracing down. The hand caresses the skin above the loose waistband of his boxers before dropping down and pushing again the hot place between his legs.

Oh that feels good. Stiles cants his hips up and moans into the kiss with Derek. "More..."

Derek pulls back grinning. "You're going to fucking love this." He leans forward but instead of going back to Stiles's mouth he slowly makes his way down, across her neck and jaw, biting and kissing his way down until he reaches Stiles's nipple.

His nipples are already hard, standing up begging to be touched. Stiles arches up at the first touch of Derek's lips to his nipple. It's barely anything, just the chastest of kisses, but Stiles wants more. He slides his hands into Derek's hair and holds Derek's head against his breast. No way is Derek stopping his shit now, Stiles wants _more_.

Derek's hand is still rubbing at Stiles through the thin cotton of his boxers, it's such a weird sensation, feeling heat pool between his legs, feeling the slickness of himself. Stiles spreads his legs and crooks a knee in clear invitation to Derek.

He tangles his free hand in Derek's t-shirt, balling it and tugging at it. "I want to feel your boobs, Derek, I've never groped boobs before..." Stiles whines, because while this feels amazing, Derek has boobs.

Boobs.

Do you know how many of Stiles's fantasies involved boobs? (Slightly less than involved cock, if anyone's curious. At least probably. Asses were the winner though. Stiles likes asses.)

Derek sits up and quickly pulls his t-shirt over his head, freeing his fucking fantastic breasts. They bounce slightly and Stiles can't help it, he sits up and leans forward, carefully brushing one hard nipple with his knuckles. He slips his hands under to cup the breast and leans forward to lap at the hard peak. Derek lets out a small, pleased sigh, "Stiles..."

Stiles doesn't pull back from the breast to look up at Derek through his eyelashes. He wraps his lips around the nipple and sucks, gently. He's rewarded by Derek bringing a hand up and scritching through the short fuzz of his buzzcut. Stiles fucking loves it when he does that.

He switches tits and starts lavishing the other nipple with attention, using his hand to tweak the spit-slick one he's just abandoned. As he pinches Derek tightens his hand against Stiles's scalp and pulls him in closer.

"Good boy," Derek praises, in that soft, sexy purr that is his new voice. It goes straight to Stiles's groin. His... cunt? Yeah. His cunt. Fuck this is weird.

Derek pushes Stiles away from his chest and he thinks he's done something wrong, until he realises Derek is just pushing him back against the bed. He gathers Stiles's hands together and drags them above his head, pinning them there.

Leaning forward, Derek starts kissing Stiles again, tongue hot and hard against his own, Stiles doesn't offer any resistance, just opens his mouth and lets the kiss turn filthy. It's all hot and slick, Derek's spit mixing with his own, a little less finesse than Derek normally demonstrates but Stiles likes it, he likes swallowing the excess spit and knowing it's probably Derek's. It feels wrong, it feels illicit, it makes his cunt ache with want.

As Derek leans over him he can feel Derek's tits dragging against his own chest, hard nipples rubbing against his bare stomach. It feels thrilling, it feels naughty and forbidden and Stiles needs more right the hell now. His cunt's throbbing, practically begging to be touched. Derek's kneeling between his spread thighs and seems happy enough just to neck like a pair of teenagers. (Shut up.)

Stiles tugs one of his hands free and slides it down Derek's body until he reaches the elastic of Derek's boxer-briefs. They were sinfully tight on Derek, but now, as a girl, they're slipping off of his hips, with easy space for Stiles to push a hand past them and down into the tangle of curls that is Derek's cunt.

Derek is... hairy. Stiles can't resist breaking the kiss to say, "Dude, you're like, hairier than a girl than you are as a guy. Chicks in porn are normally all groomed and shit."

Derek snorts where his face is buried in Stiles's neck. "You should feel yourself."

Stiles frowns and tugs his other hand out of Derek's hold and slips it into his boxers. Holyshit he's like, pretty hairy, he's even still got a slight treasure trail. "I didn't know girls got those," he says, brushing against it before settling his hand between his folds, he's so hot down there.

Derek snorts. "Your knowledge pretty much all comes from porn, not real girls. Get over it and _move your goddamn hand_." Derek spreads his thighs wide, letting his lips spread and suddenly there's wetness on Stiles's other hand.

"Oh my _god_ you're so wet!" Stiles can't believe it, he slides his fingers down towards where he knows Derek's opening should be, and it just gets wetter as he goes. "Dude, I did this?!" He can't quite believe Derek would be this wet for _him_.

"Stiles, have you seen how fucking hard you get me? Of course I'm this ready for you, you idiot." Derek frames Stiles's head with his elbows and leans down for a kiss.

Stiles has one hand in his own cunt (fuck, he's so went, his pubic hair's so long, and holy shit _is that his clit?!_ It feels _amazing_.)

"Mmm, shit this is good," Stiles murmurs into Derek's lips, there's a thin string of split still connecting them that breaks as he speaks. He fucking loves Derek.

"I fucking love you too," Derek says and shit, he's got to stop saying things out loud.

Stiles smiles into the kiss and starts lazily running his fingers up and down their slits, near the top feels best on his, around the hard nub he guesses is his clit, so he does the same to Derek. The angles are awkward, but it feels so good, the little zing of pleasure he gets every time he flicks over his clit.

Derek grinds down against his hand and yeah, he must be doing something right. Stiles finds his hand speeding up as he flicks back and forth over his clit, rubbing as hard as he can, finding it slicker and harders with every swipe. Derek is the same, moaning into their kiss and using his hands to tweak Stiles's already abused nipples. It feels good.

"Harder..." he moans and Derek echoes his call.

He feels so close, he can feel it building, he can feel his stomach muscles bunching and tightening, he can't keep the rhythm up on Derek and himself, so he lets his fingers slip out of Derek. He focuses on himself, he's so nearly there, he's _so close_. He rubs harder and faster, the spot just under his clit is so good, he rubs it harder, harder, faster, flicking back and forth, it's so good, it's almost... almost...

Bolts of pleasure shoot through Stiles as the muscles of his pelvic floor start fluttering and pulsing, his lips swell even more and he tries to carry on stroking himself, but the sensations are _too much_. He can't take it. He pulls his hand out and squeezes his thighs shut, focusing on the pleasure of his muscles contracting. It's fucking amazing.

Derek's frigging himself furiously above Stiles and suddenly he's squeezing his thighs closed too and collapsing on top of Stiles. Mouth dropping down and capturing Stiles in a lazy kiss, they're both panting heavily into it as they come down.

Their bodies are flush against each other, and Stiles loves feeling pinned to the bed by Derek's superior weight. It makes him feel grounded and safe, loved and cared for. Wanted.

They've mostly stopped kissing now, and Derek's head is nestled in the crook of Stiles's neck as he runs his hand up and down Derek's back.

"Sorry, for, you know, dropping out on your back there," Stiles says, by way of an apology. "Coordination's hard."

Derek snorts and takes a moment to finish biting and sucking a mark into Stiles's neck before he replies. "You're forgiven. If you blow me."

Stiles frowns, what does Derek mean? "But we just got off. Not even I can go again so soon."

He can feel Derek's smile pressed into his neck. "Mmm, we're girls. Girls can go again already, and I hear the second one's stronger, _longer_."

Stiles perks up. "Oh. My. _God._ Jesus Christ, Derek, are you serious? That was like, un-fucking-real and we can go again? Can you go again? Oh my god, I want to do _all the things_. I want to taste you. I want to fuck you. I want to--"

Derek smiles lazily up at him and pulls Stiles down to silence him with a kiss.

"Yeah, we can do 'all the things'," Derek teases when they break apart, Stiles gasping for air. "And you can start by eating me out." Derek gives him a final kiss before pushing Stiles down towards his spread thighs.

Stiles goes with a grin. The witches can wait til later, being a girl is kinda awesome.

 

fin.

**Author's Note:**

> [Come say hello to me on my tumblr!](http://saspiesas.tumblr.com).


End file.
